My old photoshoot..

I'm kinda disappointed in myself. I had no confident regardless of character , career , work or thing that i do. Yesterday i went for a casting. It wasn't good. I was not in my confident state and i ruined the shoot during the casting. Sometimes i like doing event rather than photoshoot. It's so boring that you only facing the lens , without talking.. Like facing to the wall (prisioner) Pose and pose and pose and pose. The photographer will try to talk to you but you had to pose with your backbone straight!
This job really suck. HOWEVER , THE PAYS IS TEMPTING.. LOL. If you love modeling you can give a try like me.. Now i give a try to it. People ask me one question: "why you wanna work as model? why don't wanna find other job because you are very vain?" In my heart my answer : yes , which girls is not vain? I took this job is because i find it curious. Why girls nowadays wanna work into this line. Yes the pays is very very good but when you fell on the wrong hands , your future will ruin/destroy and it will tattoo you forever. If you want your pays to raise , you need tremendous fame. Is very hard!! I wanna work a normal job but the pays is not that good. HARD HARD HARD..